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Average Guy

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Song Info


Average Guy (Beatnik Turtle/Blegen/Lockhart)




In a town, in a hospital, in a hospital bed
Lies a quadriplegic with a lazy eye
Incontinent, depressed, and born with a lisp
He lies, trapped, helpless in the prison of his own body

Struck by lightning in the middle of the night
On a bright sunny day
He discovered that he could walk
And move his arms in a normal way

But when he left that hospital that day
He was kicked by a horse
The blow would have killed any other man
But not our hero of course

Cuz he's average guy
He's average guy
He's average guy
Average guy

He found his lazy eye had become a hard worker
And he could see proud and true
But he couldn't see the meteor that hit him
Or the cosmic rays too

Immediately his spirits were lifted
And his incontenence went away
It was then that he knew his new vocation
And you could hear him say

I'm average guy
I'm average guy
I'm average guy
Average guy

But what would happen if he got hit by a truck?
Well, he would die!

And what would happen if he got hit by kryptonite?
Well...he'd be fine!

He'd be fine
Average guy
Average guy
Average guy

Song Notes:

Sometimes life corrects your faults and deficiencies on their own. And, after awhile, you find yourself becoming less unique and more and more...average.


Lead Vocals: Jason Feehan
Backing Vocals: Jason Feehan
Guitars: Jason Feehan
Vibraslap: Jason Feehan
Sound FX: Jason Feehan

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